Be a WannaMe (Part II)

Proclivities beget principles - Define yourself in terms of your self

We Sapiens are most defensive and insecure when we are shackled to any one worldly, externally-derived system of belief. Many of us both unconsciously or intentionally give the reigns of our consciousness to the various subjective dogmas that exist in our world and let them dictate the paths we walk, the thoughts we think and the words we say. This behavior inevitably becomes embedded in the subconscious and once this is the case, one has shackled the mind into mental servitude in perpetuity and amazingly, actively seeks to preserve their condition of mental imprisonment simply because one has become so accustomed to such a state and ironically finds comfort in keeping the mind in a familiar cage. The external dogma prescribes a certain reality to the individual and it is taken as literal truth.

The outsourcing of our conception of reality virtually stunts one’s capacity for self awareness, because the need for self awareness dissipates once the external dogma is inevitably downloaded into the subsconsious and then used as an operating system as the individual goes through the motions of life. This is of course a shortcut towards mental stability and “clarity”. The cognitive load required for outsourcing one’s conception of reality and concomitantly, one's sense of self, is equal to the effort expended when one rolls over to the other side of the pillow, perhaps less. The alternative, of course, is in-sourcing one’s conception of reality, a process which starts with rigorous self discovery of the seeds of the self, one’s proclivities and intrinsic predilections. Indeed, the effort required to engage in a lifelong and rigorous investigation of the internal world, is far greater, but enables oneself to self-actualize in terms of one's intentionally defined principles, values, and framework of thought, all of which are primarily predicated upon one's own self-perceived proclivities.

So, what are these proclivities that I keep speaking of? And how does one uncover them? Proclivities are one’s natural predispositions; those things things that one says, chooses, and does intuitively. Left to your own devices and unencumbered by the musings of all that is around you, what are your natural inclinations? The fundamental first step in determining what your proclivities are is recognizing and internalizing the existence of the conscious-subconscious feedback loop discussed in my first segment of my series on identity, Who's in there? Assuming that the material conditions necessary for unfettered mental freedom are in place, the conscious-subconscious feedback loop takes the shape of one the following 3 fundamental constitutions: 1) a loop intentionally defined by appealing external inputs (e.g. religion, social creed, ethnicity, perceived societal dictates, etc.); 2) a loop unintentionally defined by external inputs (more of a passive diffusion of the hurricane of stimuli around you into your feedback loop); 3) a loop intentionally and exclusively defined by self-identified proclivities. Let’s use another analogy to break down each of these constitutions.

1. A loop intentionally defined by appealing external inputs (e.g. religion, social creed, ethnicity, perceived societal dictates, etc.)

   Imagine that you are stranded at sea on a make-shift raft without a sail but you do have a paddle. The paddle, like this and that non-original human fiction, prevents you from being totally helpless as you try to survive and move forward. You use it to the best of your ability but you tire quickly and are constantly at the mercy of the prevailing wind flows and ocean currents. With only the paddle, you have a semblance of control, but in reality, you are precariously vulnerable.

2. A loop unintentionally defined by external inputs (more of a passive diffusion of the hurricane of stimuli around you into your feedback loop)

   In this instance, imagine you are stranded at sea on the same make-shift raft, but you have nothing available to help you get to safety. You are wholly subject to the whims of your environment. With this kind of feedback loop, you have nothing to rely on and there is nothing that you truly stand for or believe in. This person has a very vague understanding of self and the world around oneself. An individual with this kind of feedback loop has been sleep-walking through life; living without intentionality and passively reacting, like a reptile, to the workings of the world.

   Trust me when I say that this feedback loop constitution is undoubtedly the most self-defeating.

3. A loop intentionally and exclusively defined by self-identified proclivities

   With this constitution, the stranded seafarer has a lateen sail (classic triangular sail) on board the raft, along with the maneuvering tools. The seafarer is fully equipped to effectively navigate the open waters no matter the conditions, can set a beachhead, and head to it with a high probability of success.

The third loop, in my view, is the most auspicious (yes, I know I used this word a lot, I love it) one. Here is how you build it….

Firstly, pay very close attention to that which has deep resonance within you. We often find the deepest aspects of the Self, aspects which we may very well be unaware of because of environmental interference and dilution, reflected in people we meet, fictional characters portrayed in some kind of story, when immersed in prolonged periods of solitude, and when doing this and that activity. What does this actually look like in action, though? I’m happy to offer myself as a case study.

It is summertime and I had just finished my undergraduate studies and was studying for an exam that I needed to pass to get the job I wanted. During that time, I had started watching Game of Thrones - a show I’m sure many of you know of. There is a character in this story named Ned Stark. He is remembered as “the honorable fool”. His character embodies the virtues of honor, integrity, loyalty, humility, and honesty. He loves his family as deeply as one can and holds himself to the highest standards of morality. Watching this character had a deep impact on me. Of all the incredible characters in the show, what he represented struck the deepest of chords within me. Why? Keep in mind, at the time, I was not someone who was concerned by any means with virtue and living a life of honor and responsibility. All I knew was that Ned represented certain virtues and values and that they resonated with me on a visceral level.

Over time, and after making full use of the Solitude Stretches available to me, I concluded that I have a proclivity to be honorable, no matter the circumstance…a proclivity for intense loyalty to those that I love… a proclivity to WANT to be honest - yes, speaking with total honesty and veracity took some work, but I naturally felt disgust for dishonesty and an intuitive desire to be supremely honest. Was I actively mimicking the esteemed Ned Stark? Not at all. I simply used my Solitude Stretches to swim in silence and figure out what truly enriched me. I spent my time with intention. I engaged in activities that were projections of my incipient identity. I had questions about myself and the world around me and I wanted to get as close to their answers as possible. I was physically isolated from my family, friends, and all things familiar to me during those early days of self-discovery. While immersed in Solitude Stretches, I did not force the manifestation of any particular thought. I allowed my intuition to guide me and it guided me to thoughts of familial love, moral-uprightness, doing the right thing even when it is the hard thing, to reading books such as “War, Peace, War: The Rise and Fall of Empires” & “The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict”. I quickly learned that I have an insatiable curiosity about the natural/physical world and its myriad components. I learned that senseless human suffering floods my entire mind and body with discomfort. For the first time in my life, I truly thought about what my family meant to me and of my own volition, I developed an overwhelming desire to dedicate myself to them, simply because the thought of doing so filled me with persistent internal peace. These realizations filled me with immeasurable elation and clarity. I was finding myself and it was sublime.

I hope that speaking of my early days of self-discovery helps you to better understand how to uncover your seeds of the self. I’ll continue sharing bits of my early days of self-discovery by bringing your attention back to something I said in the prior paragraph. I mentioned earlier that I had to work to be as precise with my language as possible; to always speak with the intention of being as honest and scrupulous as possible. I say this because you are going to find a lot of ugly too. That’s okay. What is there is there. Acknowledge the inauspicious (not favorable or conducive to success) proclivities as well and seek to discover and understand their antecedents. Self discovery is the perfect opportunity to practice being as honest as possible. Look upon and analyze yourself with unrelenting impartiality. Don’t seek to protect yourself from potentially world-shattering and panic-inducing realizations. Look within yourself with the intention to learn, understand, and innovate. Give yourself grace as you traverse the roughest parts of your internal world, the most dismal aspects of yourself. Be enlivened and emboldened by all the seeds of the self that you discover. Nurture the seeds that optimize your well-being and that of others and put in mechanisms that abate and control those which do not optimize for your well-being and that of others.

Live each day with a heightened awareness of your internal dialogue and the actions that you engage in. Constantly ask yourself, “why am I thinking this?” and, “why am I doing this?” Be as measured and indifferent as you can be when determining the answers to the aforementioned questions as the answers will often be multi-faceted. Seek solitude as often as possible each day so that you may interrogate yourself on why you are existing in the way that you are, without interruptions and interference. What you say and do on any given day can be driven by societal pressures (family, friends, and work) and expectations, personal fears (if I don’t do this, then…), non-original goals (cultural expectations), this and that ideology (economic, social, political), popular culture (this is how people do things so I must do so) and so on. Search for the roots of the thoughts you think, the words you choose to speak, and the actions you take, and patiently appraise them as you find them. You may very well discover outsourced content that is nonetheless personally beneficial. I certainly did. For example, I am agnostic, but in reading about the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), I learned about the concept of ego-death. This notion resonated with me immensely as I have a natural tendency to shy away from being boastful and pretentious. Put simply, displays of pride are personally discomforting. I’d also like to add that the only reason I was reading a book about the Prophet (peace be upon him) was because I was actively cultivating my proclivity for curiosity and at that time, one of my areas of interest was Islam and its history.

Double down on what you believe nourishes your mental ecosystem and suffuse it with your own insights that flow from personal reflections of whatever it is that you have deemed to be beneficial for you. Dispense of externally-derived content that does not have automatic resonance within you and that is there for non-personal reasons - it’s there because you think it has to be there rather than because you want it to be there. You’ll be able to determine whether or not something is truly for you if you allow yourself to sit with it for an extended period of time without actively reacting to it. It’s kind of like going through a storage full of junk that has accumulated over the years and tossing out things that are not yours, that are of no personal use to you, and stuff that is there and you can’t explain why.

The first seeds of the self that one incidentally stumbles upon and dials into as one initially starts living life with a modicum of intentionality, serve as the catalytic energy for kickstarting the perpetual process of self development. The Self is a fluid entity, constantly evolving upon the foundation of self-identified proclivities, in response to the ever-changing workings of both the internal and external worlds. Your proclivities build and go on to form the foundation of a great and beautiful fortress that is your identity. Upon those proclivities are your principles, which are completely rooted in the foundational proclivities. What do I mean? Let’s use me again to elucidate what I’m trying to say. I, many years ago, realized that, when free from environmental interference, thoughts of how much my family means to me and feelings of love and gratitude for my family envelop me. With this as a recognized proclivity, I then go on to construct a personal principle: I will always take the set of actions that optimizes for my family’s safety, health, and happiness. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Self-perceived proclivity + analysis = personal principle. Your principles then act as conduits for channeling your awareness and energy each and every day. With personal principles, you can build the entire framework of your identity.