Be a WannaMe (Part I)
Who's in there? Are you who you think you are?
Too Much Going On
The fantastically advanced civilization that we find ourselves immersed in is truly a marvel to behold. We live in a world where the seemingly impossible, is possible. Humans are re-writing the genomes of living organisms, launching rockets into outer space that can autonomously return to a platform floating in the ocean, interfacing with each other in ever-more complex ways through ever-more sophisticated hardware and software technology and yet, despite our technological & economic prowess, at the level of the individual human mind, there appears to be much stagnation.
With so many of our lower and middle-order needs satisfied, we frequently find ourselves in possession of stretches of unoccupied time where we are devoid of truly demanding responsibilities and social engagements. These interstitial periods are opportunities for self-analysis and self-development, but are so often filled with exogenous forces that dull one’s capacity for self-perception. Consumption of frivolous media (e.g. stupor-inducing social platforms, insipid shows and movies, and so on), short-sighted and shallow socialization, sensual self-indulgence (I’ll let you fill in the blanks here), and the pursuit of external validation often fill the precious periods of solitude that we so often find ourselves faced with.
With this said, I am certainly mindful of the fact that we all have unique lived experiences and that the unique contexts from which we stem dictate the frequency of Solitude Stretches one can have. Our material conditions and the milieus in which we are embedded undoubtedly shape our consciousness, experiences, and sense of self. Nonetheless, no matter how difficult doing so may be, striving for solitude and making personal use of that solitude must be an imperative for all humans. Why? The alternative is living a life where one dances to the tune of all that is around you, rather than to the tune of your own making.
One must constantly and consciously acknowledge that one’s stream of consciousness is always subject to interference & dilution. This interference & dilution arises from interfacing with all of the different aspects of our immediate realities: social groups, religious & political affiliations, media consumption, professional advancement, culture, ethnicity, geography, nation, etc. The dilutive interference necessarily pulls our focus away from the internal world and stunts our capacity for heightened self-awareness, and thus one’s ability to acknowledge the existence of what I like to call (other folks have spoken about this in their compelling ways) the conscious-subconscious feedback loop & ultimately, one’s seeds of the Self remain in the darkness.
In my conception, the subconscious mind is the puppet master that pulls the strings of our conscious thoughts and conscious actions. Moreover, and arguably more profound, is the fact that the subconscious mind, put simply, is the average of all our conscious thoughts & actions. The basic graphic I put together below hopefully helps you understand what I am trying to say here.
Becoming acutely aware of the dynamic above opens the doors to intentionally taking over the reigns of our consciousness and reconstituting it. Before I recognized and internalized this subjective/personal axiom, I was living with a false sense of self and “I”. When I would say “I” and when many of us say “I”, we are really saying, “this”, “that”, or “them”. The Self / I is so often something wholly disconnected from and external to one’s authentic Self. “I” is commonly one’s political/religious affiliation, educational/professional background, the beliefs & tendencies of one’s social groups/communities, ethnic identity, sexual orientation, place of origin, and personal history. The aforementioned are certainly aspects of who we are but, I would argue, are not and should not be the primary constituents of our identity.
On the basis of my own lived experience, I humbly assert that there are a set of core fundamental and foundational proclivities within us all that largely remain hidden from our conscious awareness. Acknowledging the existence of the subconscious - conscious feedback loop and that, through the passive diffusion of content from our physical and social environments, it is largely composed of non-original material, is the first step in the process of self-discovery. Without this acknowledgement, one is simply and almost totally a reflection of one’s external world.
Consider the following analogy as it may help you understand how a mind functions without the acknowledgment of the subconscious - conscious feedback loop. The mind is like an orchestra, with the subconscious component as the conductor and the instrumentalists as the conscious components. The conductor guides the orchestra in accordance with the sheet music in hand. In this instance, the sheet music is outsourced. In fact, the conductor is a stranger in the mind operating and instructing the conscious mind (orchestra) on the basis of externally-derived content. The sheet music is composed of bits and pieces of inauthentic/non-original stories, and thus, the conductor moves the baton incoherently, and the orchestra that is your conscious mind, produces a farce - a distorted and false representation of your self.
Once one acknowledges the existence of this dynamic, the individual will naturally conclude, as I did, that he/she has largely existed as a being that has unconsciously allowed the workings of the external world to wholly diffuse into & define one’s consciousness and ultimately, one’s identity. In doing so, one effectively outsources one’s identity and conception of reality. If this is so, then who the hell are any one of us? This question may very well beget existential uncertainty. Ideally, it also begets true mental freedom. Now aware of one’s non-authentic stream of consciousness and untethered from the tenuous & hollow stability of non-original stories, one is finally cognitively free. While it will feel like you are are floating through the vacuum of outer space, unable to grasp onto something for stability or support, you will finally be able to discover your seeds of the Self, as you now are able to do so with 20/20 vision. This new capacity is born out of the unshackling of the mind. No longer dancing to the tune of the world around oneself, the individual can finally turn one’s gaze inward with genuine curiosity.
The overlooked value of Solitude Stretches can now be recognized and moving forward, they will be effectively utilized as opportunities for rigorous and impartial self-reflection. Navigate your mind with your untethered awareness as a cave explorer navigates a natural labyrinth with a flashlight - the sole source of illumination in a place devoid of photons. Ask yourself, what is essentially there? What appears to naturally belong within you? Shine a light - your untethered awareness - upon every nook and cranny of your internal world and discover your proclivities, both auspicious and inauspicious. Are you naturally predisposed to caring intensely for others? Do you have a predisposition to lie? To be resilient? To be politely humorous no matter how dreary a situation may be? Journey through your mind with no strings attached. Explore yourself without wishful thinking and without ideologies of any kind in tow. Self-discovery must be as unbiased as possible. We must be as scrupulous and logical in our self reflections as the scientific community is in their scientific pursuits.
We are simply trying to figure out what is essentially…
WITHIN US.
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